A Simple Look at Sex

Sex According to Natural Design

Thursday, July 11, 2013


Thursday, July 11, 2013
A Simple Look at Sex
 

 

A SIMPLE LOOK

AT SEX

By

Francis William Bessler

7/11/2013

 

Note:

I just decided today that this article is going to be the first of three that I am going to write on three different, but perhaps related, topics: SEX, GOD, & JESUS. I will begin with this one on sex and pass it along today and then sometime soon, I will work out the next two on GOD & JESUS. I am not sure what I will offer in the next two articles, though I have almost finished with the one on sex below as I write this note.

In all this, however, be very aware that what I write is only one man’s opinion. Do not think that I think that I have an angel on my shoulder or in my head - like so many who have written their own personal visions have done in the past.

I am reminded of one John of Patmos, the author of the famed BOOK OF REVELATION of the BIBLE. John may have also written THE GOSPEL OF JOHN. When I read him earlier in life, I really believed that he was being inspired by God to write what he did; but I have long since outgrown that idea. I think John wrote from his head - like I am writing from my head. God is not inspiring me in any special way; and God did not inspire John in any special way. His writing was based on his vision of life - and my writing is based on my vision of life. That’s putting it succinctly - and truthfully.

The problem is that so many have adopted John’s vision of life - with all its warfare and battles featuring God and some would be foes; but it’s good to keep in mind that John wrote his vision while his people were being thrown to the lions for being fellow Christians. I guess I might have had a bit of a sad tale about life to tell too if I were one to be expecting an ax to come down on me at any moment. So, John wrote about a “new day” where all would be well and all the villains of the world would have been long sent to Hell. That was his moment - and his hope - because that was his experience.

But I am in a different time. I am not one who is expecting an ax to come down on me for what I believe. An ax may well be imposed on me for my beliefs, but, let’s face it - it is not likely. Is it? So, it’s good to realize that different writers are dealing with different times and because of that, their visions of life have to be different.

I think we humans are mired in a mess in terms of believing this is not Paradise - or shouldn’t be - because ones like John of Patmos lived in a mess. I think the ones who gave us that message that life is a mess were too caught up in trouble to realize any peace; and so they “assumed” that sometime their troubles would end and they would find Paradise. The problem with that is that in looking down the road for some peace, they gave up on finding it here; and I think the human race is still doing the same thing today.

Well, I am not John of Patmos - or St. John of THE GOSPEL OF JOHN. I am Francis William Bessler of Laramie, Wyoming - and I live in a different time. I do not see the opposition to God of which John was so sure. There are no demons - except that we have them in our minds. There is no foe of God because God can have no foes, being Infinite. Everywhere is Heaven because God is everywhere. This world IS the Paradise that John only dreamed about; but it might as well not be if we insist that John wrote for all time - as if time need not enhance our vision of life.

In that light, let me take you on a trip and let us see three things in a different way from the past: SEX, GOD, & JESUS. Just keep in mind that all of this is only one man’s opinion - and vision - and need not be that of anyone else. On the other hand, if it fits, wear it. We are all in this wonderful thing called Life together; and one man’s vision may well suit another - or others - too. Just try on these ideas - and see how they fit. OK?

Thanks!

Francis William Bessler - not John of Patmos!

 

SEX

 

Let me talk a little about sex. I am 71 as I am talking, but I don’t really think it should be any different, regardless of age. As I see it, no matter what age we are, we are essentially “sensual” beings - and it is really that aspect of life we are talking about when we talk about sex. Personally, I prefer the term “sensual” to “sexual” because it is much more descriptive of most so called “sex.”

Thank God, I am a SENSUAL BEING! Personally, I am in love with my senses - and I try not to divide myself by thinking I should be sensual here and not there - or restrict myself to talk about one sensual part but not another sensual part - as if the body is divided between the touchable and the untouchable. In reality, it is not divided into good and evil regions or touchable and untouchable parts. In reality, it is ONE - and the one that it is - is wholly wonderful.

I realize the world looks at life in a different way than that, but personally I have long overcome such nonsense that the body should be divided into private and public parts - as if the public can see one part but can’t see another part. What nonsense! One part of me is not any more wholesome or less wholesome than another part. My hand is not somehow more acceptable than my penis - or should not be. Your arm is not somehow more acceptable than your vagina - or what you can see of it. Or it shouldn’t be - in my view.

Mankind has been caught up in divisions since it was able to think, however. We have loved division - and dividing our bodies into touchable and untouchable and seeable and un-seeable is only a product of a penchant for division. We love division; and our separating our parts is only a product of that.

Which side of my body is “Godly” and which is “un-Godly”? If we but think about that question for one single moment - not even a minute - we would realize that it is impossible that the left side of me can be Godly and the right side might be un-Godly - but I will get into that GOD THING a lot more in my next article. For this article, it should be obvious that the right side of my body cannot be more holy than the left side of my body - and my arm can’t be less holy - or more holy - than my penis. Ideally, every part of me should be known as wholesome - and every part of me should be equally touchable - be that I am alone or with another - or others.

I am talking Ideals, though, of course. Knowing what should be “ideal” and acting that ideal out is up to up each of us to do on our own. Many would not see what I am talking about as an “ideal,” however, and they might even be convinced that I am speaking as somewhat of a deranged individual. How dare I talk about the penis and the hand as if they are exactly the same! How dare I even use the word “penis” in mixed company - or especially in the presence of a child!

But, in reality, a child should be the start of the new ideal. A child should be taught from the very beginning that he or she is alright - as naked and wholesome - simply because he or she is of God; and, again, we will get into more of that GOD THING in my next article.

I am a firm believer, however, that a child should “teach himself” or “herself” - when it comes to what to do with his or her body. It should not be up to an adult to tell a child what to do when it comes to experiencing life. It should only be for an adult to “not tell” a child what to do. I am not saying a father or mother should instruct a child to play with him or herself. I am only saying that an adult should not prevent a child from investigating according to his or her own pace - or curiosity. It is not so much “instruction” - as the “lack of instruction.” Let a child know what he or she wants when he or she wants.

But we don’t do that, do we? Because of our love of division, we dare to tell our children from the beginning that something is “naughty.” That is our way of “instructing” our children to disregard their own curiosity and listen to us older folks who know better. Nonsense! I think that left alone, a child would normally do what is right because they would not be filled with all sort of ideas about things being wrong.

Then as adults - all we need to do is step forward - and be like the child in our presence. In a way, we should learn from our “free” children. It can be as simple as that. As we let our children be, we adults should be likewise.

But what about mingling? Should “two children” be free to be curious about one another? Of course, but that should depend on the child - or children. Some children will be curious about another; and some might not; but it should be up to the children to decide - just like it should be up to a single child to decide the course of his or her curiosity.

 

How simple it could be - and should be! Speaking about mingling, however, let me offer my views on that - or one aspect of that - sexual intercourse. Again, I am not saying what others should think about the matter. I am only offering what this “one adult child” has thought about it and still thinks about it.

Many - and maybe most - may disagree with me on this one, but I think coitus should be restricted to making babies. I think we humans have been way out of line from the “natural norm” by having intercourse outside of intended procreation. I mean the “natural norm” is that sexual intercourse is for procreation, not recreation. I think it another one of those “division things” we have come to love. In this case, we love to “divide” or “separate” ourselves from the rest of natural beings and treat sexual intercourse like it is a matter of entertainment rather than procreation. After all, we are “more special” than any other creature. We should be exempt from the rules of all other creation; but as we exempt ourselves from the norm - wow, do we pay a price by complicating the life we live - or lives we live.

My first wife, Dee, and I had sexual intercourse often during the first two years of our ten year marriage (1967-1977) because we both wanted a child. It turned out that Dee could not have a child - but until we knew that, we had intercourse quite often. Once it became clear that Dee could not have a child, we adopted a lovely three month old named Anita Marie; but when Anita Marie (born May 23rd, 1970) came into our lives, the intercourse stopped. Why? Because I did not believe in it for seeing it as a breach or violation of the order of Natural Design.

 

In a way, there is no such thing as life without some order. Even if we choose to embrace chaos or some assumed “everything goes” type of conduct, it is still a kind of order. It’s just “chaotic order” - with order being some kind of guidance on how to conduct life. Even if I conduct life in some haphazard way and see it as without any order at all, it is not true. My order is only chaos.

Others choose some order like some assumed Commandments of God. That becomes their “order.” They live - or try to live - according to what they think of as “Commandments of God” - even if in reality, God did not issue the commandments, but someone convinced of the inspiration of God issued them as if he was speaking for God; and again, we will get into that GOD THING much more in the next article.

The point is - everyone needs some kind of “order”; and my order is trying to find guidance according to NATURAL DESIGN. I do not see God outside of life to need any guidance from a God outside of life. So I am only choosing a different kind of “guidance” - and that is guidance to what I think of as “Natural Design.”

Of course, it is debatable as to what is “Natural Design.” I may see a different order going to it than another. My friend, Nancy Shaw, for instance says that because two people in love want to join together as one in sex that it is an expression of “Natural Design” that they do so. Nature is the one who leads two people in love to have intercourse - and it need not have anything to do with procreation.

Well, that just shows that each of us can interpret Natural Design in different ways. I am sure that many would agree with Nancy - or do agree with Nancy. That’s fine, but interpreting Natural Design in that way would not provide any real guidance to two people in love - or two people out of love. If two people want intercourse, then it is OK to have it. That view would not allow usage of “Natural Design” to limit sex. That view would only allow usage of “Natural Design” to permit sex. Well, that is no order at all in my view. It is just order according to the individual - and Natural Design is of no help at all.

But the debate does illustrate that one man’s view need not be another man’s - or person’s - view. In the end, to each, his or her own; but at least, it takes it out of “God’s Hands” and puts the responsibility where it really belongs - in our own.

 

Anyway, later my first wife, Dee, and I divorced and I met Pat a few months after the divorce became final. Pat and I married soon thereafter in July of 1977. Pat wanted intercourse from the start, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to have a child. I hesitated because I was of the mind that the world might be ending soon and I didn’t think it was wise to bring a child into the world with that idea swimming around in my head.

Soon, however, after about five months of marriage with Pat, the idea did subside and I felt free to have a baby. That one was quick. It might have been so quick as to have needed only one act because once I decided to have a baby, Melissa Dawn was conceived; and then intercourse between Pat and I ended too. Melissa came into the world, however, on Oct. 12th, 1978.

Later, Pat and I would divorce too - a very complicated matter I won’t go into - but since my marriage to Pat - which ended in 1978, around the time Melissa Dawn was born, I have had intercourse only a few times - and every time with someone with whom I was engaged - though several engagements were terminated for lack of some major consensus. I did marry a third time in 2000 - but for that one neither Ann nor I wanted another child and neither wanted intercourse either. We divorced in 2001 because it became obvious by living together that Ann’s atheism and my Divine Naturism simply do not mix.

The point is that “this one adult child” has adopted a course in life that is almost conservative - in spite of my being a liberal on the matter of life in general. I believe that Natural Design - as I interpret it, of course - is the way to go; and I have tried to commit myself to that. Again, my friend, Nancy Shaw, argues that Natural Design allows for intercourse as a matter of pleasure only and that I am way off base for restricting myself - and perhaps her - from it; but for me, it is very simple. If an act naturally results in a conception if “left alone,” then that act should be practiced for the “left alone” consequence. Besides being wise, it is also safe; and why should anyone want to be “unsafe”? Stay with the simple - and stay safe.

And if one does act in an unsafe manner and gets pregnant without intent, what then should happen? For me, that is an extension of the principle of let each one decide for him or herself. In this case, a pregnant lady should decide what to do. In short, if a pregnant one wants to become a mother, then that should be for her to decide - not for anyone else. Even the fellow who provided the sperm should not have any control over another person’s body. It is not his body - and out of respect, he should not interfere.

It is not complicated as I see it. Once I have given away my sperm - regardless of where that sperm ends up, that sperm is no longer mine. I gave it away; and it no longer belongs to me. My lady friend, however, may have it if I gave it to her. If so, then it is for her to own and do what she will with it. I can certainly offer an opinion about what I would like my lady to do, but what she does should be up to her - and her alone. That is how I see that.

 

The key to living a healthy life, I believe, is to live it in the present as much as possible; and that means to maintain a constant state of curiosity - about the present state of life. I try to do that every day of my life. I love pictures of me and others (especially the naked ones) to assist me in knowing the truth of me. We are all the same except for minor differences; and that is why looking at any other naked person - male or female - is really looking at me. When I see a picture or a movie of a naked one, I see me - the curious me. I am like a little child who is only seeing something for the first time because for me, I am “brand new” every day.

Personally, I think aging is largely caught up with having too many memories of the past and not paying attention to the wonder of the present. A child is caught up with the wonder of the present because she (or he) knows nothing different - and that is mainly what allows her or him to be so healthy. That wonderful thing we call curiosity should be our constant companion. The more we spend remembering the past is one moment lost on loving the present - and the future.

 

Or so I Believe!

 

Let me finish this by offering a song I wrote several years ago that I called Kiss Me. A friend of mine, Amy Parker-Williams, told me - “Will, that is really erotic!” Well, I suppose it might be; but I did not intend it to be so. I only intended it to be an expression of what I think is an ideal affectionate relationship. I suppose that could include gay relationships too, though I am not gay. I am for gay relationships, however, for those who are comfortable with them.

But be you gay or heterosexual, enjoy my love song as you will. OK? And stay tuned for my next article. It will be all about GOD.

 

Thanks! (FWB)


Kiss Me

By

Francis William Bessler

4/14/2006

 

REFRAIN:

Kiss me here and kiss me there.

Kiss me, kiss me – everywhere.

Kiss me where it pleases thee.

Kiss me and enjoy my Divinity.

 

God said to Adam, go to sleep

and when he awoke, there was Eve.

Eve looked at Adam and winked at him

and said come here, Honey - there is no sin

Refrain.

 

The way I see it, it’s this way.

God’s in All, be it night or day.

When you touch me, you touch God.

So come to me – for my applause.

Refrain.

 

I think many souls have it wrong

who think that God’s not in this song.

If God is Infinite, it has to be

that Dear One must be in me.

Refrain.

 

If it’s true, God is in my flesh,

then my soul should be refreshed.

Soul and body are so Divine.

It’s just like grapes turning into wine.

Refrain.

 

So come and sip my wine with me.

Taste, Sweetheart, my Divinity.

Put your lips where you want to go

and you will find what you want to know.

Refrain.

 

But, gentle, gentle – don’t be harsh.

You’re not sloggin through some marsh.

There’s no need for whips and chains.

Just kiss me, kiss me, and kiss me again.

Refrain (twice).